Funny Sayings #1

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and then call whatever you hit the target

Polytetrafluoroethylene is a word i cant pronounce!

Date a woman, get a free pair of melons!

Beer- The breakfast of champions!

There's only one way to cure a hangover- drink some more!

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the "up" button

If at first you DO succed, TRY not to look suprised

Ever stop to think and then forget to start again?

If life gives you lemons, make margaritas!

If you think life's against you, it probably is

So your wife just left you
How sad you must be
Look on the bright side
She moved in with me!

My tire was thumping
Thought it was flat
Then I looked closer
And noticed your cat! Sorry!

When we were together you said that you would die for me
Now that we are apart, I think that it's time you kept your promise

You brought religion into my life- I didn't belive in hell until I met you!

Im so miserable without you, it's likr your actually here